Well, I am the proud mother of two children. My son is 6 and my daughter is 4. I am expecting my third child and this will definitely be my last. This pregnancy was a shock, not because we didn't want another baby but, because, I simply didn't expect it to happen. If that makes any sense. Anyways........I am 27 years old. I am by no means content with my life at this time. I want to make a change for the better for my children and I. I really don't know what to say about my husband. He has been unemployed for the last 4 months or so and things have been bad. We unfortuneately(sp?) live in his parents other home. I hate it here. I feel as though we are being "watched". In a sense we are. I am very unhappy here. But, we have fallen on hard times and what can I expect. I feel bad for the children. That I have betrayed them some how by not getting a college education first before having a family. But, I was young and well......you know.

I love my kids more than life itself though.

We are in Ohio and I hate it here. I am not from here. This is NOT my home. I am from Chicago Illinois originally and I want back there badly. But, I just have to wait things out.

My husband won't look for work outside of the county it seems. I have often begged him to look back in Columbus where there is a ton of employment. But, he doesn't want to leave Mommy and Daddy it seams.

I am trying to be mature but, sometimes I don't feel that I am. That I pout too much.

To top all that off I have been heavily ill with this pregnancy. I have lost 45 Ibs in 6 weeks. My doctor finally put me on phenergan today! Yea!!!! I think I am getting some relief finally!

I believe in God and that he helps us if we help ourselves. So.....I am more than likely not going to be relying on DH for our monetary needs after the baby is born in August so it looks like I will be going back to work after wards. That is fine by me. I actually enjoyed working and it got me out of the house.

My sister calls me almost daily to check up on me. I really appreciate that. She says to hang in there. That things will get better and this too shall pass. I just hope our vehicle does not get repoed but, it looks like it will. I feel as though I have failed my children and this unborn child I carry. I wanted a better life for my kids. Not this. I am not going to place all blame on my husband as it is my fault as well. It takes two to tango.

I have so many random thoughts in my head right now. I just want to be able to be content and go on with life and be happy. I should be happy, right?

Well, I guess I will write more later. That's all I can think of for now!